There is no denying the fact, that any couple would feel lost and shattered hearing about the news that they are infertile. But what is the way out? What can be done to overcome the depression and stress that follows?
Well, adoption can be an option!
As a matter of fact, many new age parents consider adoption as a good choice, then living without a child all their lives.
If you are also thinking of adoption as an option to bring happiness to your life as well as to the life of a child who doesn’t have anybody, asking a few questions to yourself becomes necessary.
Questions that need your attention
First of all, understand your ability to call someone else’s child as your own for the rest of your life. Will you be able to love a child who is not yours biologically?
Often it is seen that a couple’s parents are against the very notion of adoption. Will your and your spouse’s family accept the adopted child?
Understand the fact that when the child will grow up, he or she will not look like you or your partner. Would you be comfortable with this thought? Would you then wish for a child who could have resembled you or your life partner in one way or the other?
Handling children is not easy, and it may become all the more difficult if you adopt an older child. Ask yourself if you have the patience and perseverance to deal with the resentments that the adopted child will bring with them?
Also find out the course of action you would follow, if later in life, you will find out that the child has some incurable disease or deformity, then will you still love the innocent being or will send them back to the orphanage?
It is extremely important to understand your own hidden motive behind adoption. Ask yourself if you are resorting to adoption because you want to give the love you have for your child to someone else, or if you need someone to be there for you in the old age? It is often seen that children move out of their parents’ place to pursue higher education or in search of a better career. Relying on the adopted child merely because you gave them the provisions required to live a life, and thinking that they should be with you forever is not fair. Understand that you can’t force things to happen your way. You can just provide morals and values to the adopted child to be remembered always.
Not even for a second should an adoptive parent have the thought that they have done a favour to the child by adopting them and they owe them more. Remembering that they were the ones who went in search of a child, and not vice versa. So, expecting something from the adopted child which is difficult for your natural child to do is not at all acceptable.
Sharing the truth or keeping a secret?
Many a times it is seen that adoptive parents feel confused whether they should reveal the truth about adoption to the child or keep it as a secret. If you also face such a situation, then consider stating the truth. For the child, it would still be better to know about the truth from your mouth, then from somebody else’s. Also understand that this will not reduce their love for you. Their love for you will not be altered by stating a mere fact.
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